Still in Decline
June 4th.
Waning Gibbous in Capricorn.
Ten of wands.
Feel like the body has recovered a bit.
But probably will spend the whole day thinking about going to sleep tonight.
I haven’t dreamed in a couple of evenings.
But the days have been very dreamy.
The Decline of the West.
Why is it actually that culture always ends up commoditized by those outside of it?
It’s a very real phenomenon that I can’t help but notice.
Delta brought up to me the other day that some organic clothing brand known for their ethics was bought by Shein. She was surprised that they could sell out to the anti-thesis of the business model they’d built.
“You can’t have a price. If you have a price, you never had any values.”
The abundance mindset.
At any rate…
If you think you’re lacking, you’ll have a price and compromise your values.
Maybe it’s that simple.
All the money in the world shouldn’t cause you to cease believing what you believe in.
The perspective you’ve walked through life to gain.
You should stand to defend it at all costs.
It’s the only thing that’s real.
Everything starts out real.
Starts out flawed.
Not yet shaped into a product. Not yet shaped into something that exists for simply the pursuit of profit.
In a world where we acknowledge that there’s enough of everything for everyone, the beauty overflows, rather than battling for a piece of the pie, everyone can focus on sharing their perspective of the world.
Fuck.
I don’t know.
It’s just weird. It’s weird to me. That
Everything has somewhat..
It’s weird to me that culture gets commoditized…
I get why it does, but it’s just so weird to me and I can’t wrap my head around it.
And it’s something I don’t think ever happens from within the culture.
It always seems to happen from outside of it.
Someone within compromises their values for a piece of the pie and it opens the floodgates.
An argument for gatekeeping.
Hip-hop – Skating
These little quiet cultures that grow beyond themselves and then get shaped to maximize profit by some conglomerate that doesn’t see these things for what they actually are. Just the products that can come from them.
Creating representations of the culture themselves just to … generate more.
Closing the door on the culture to organically expand from within.
The Decline of the West.
I have no argument, I’m just trying to make sense of why it is this happens.
Especially since…
Money isn’t … as real as life is.
Is that selling your soul?
Putting value in a number rather than the life you experience?
And money is only as valuable as what it can provide for you that you feel you lack?
And we only lack the basic necessities because we’ve paywalled them?
We’ve all opted into this … system where we pay for vegetables and meat from the supermarket rather than growing them ourselves.
We mortgage land… that somehow has been…
Put up for sale? By someone?
But how could they own it?
How could they own it, if money isn’t natural?
What proof does anyone have.. how do you lay claim to what has always existed?
How did we get here?
How’d we go from having it all, to wearing shitty plastic t-shirts and going to war over it?
I once read that it used to be a common occurrence for people to have their mail sent to the coffee house they frequented.
They’d arrive in the morning, collect their mail, enjoy their coffee and get to work on their writing or reading, and partaking in intelligent conversation with the other patrons.
Expanding one another’s mind. Moving the zeitgeist along.
So…
When I returned to the coffee house I once frequented after a two month hiatus and felt a shift in the energy, I didn’t think it wrong to immediately make a correlation to Spengler’s Decline of the West.
All I ever really think about is the Decline of the West because all my life.. the west has been in decline.
Everything used to be real.
I feel like shit.
It’s day 25.
I thought I had returned to a state of normalcy only to wake up and feel like I’d slipped into the underworld.
Hello Hades.
I think I may be the problem today.
The coffee shop. Non-issue.
The west? Still in decline.
What does google have mosquitos for?
I think I may be the problem today but I don’t remember the lights ever being as bright as they were in the coffee shop today.
Blinding.
This could just be a bad day and I’m … calling it the decline of the west.
How dramatic.
My mother calls me her emotionless child.
Maybe I’m with emotions, however I seem devoid of them as I try to make them an intellectual conversation rather than… what they are.
There’s no reason … for this to even be a bad day.
I’m just perceiving it as one it seems due to a chemical imbalance in my brain after the elimination of alcohol and marijuana consumption.
Not a single thing happened to make today a bad day.
No reason to chalk up Thursday June 4th, 2026 as the day the west declined to a point I could no longer bear.
The stark contrast is that if I were still … partaking in alcohol and marijuana consumption… and had the same exact day…
There’d be no real reason for my brain to feel the euphoria provided by the substances interacting with its receptors.
So now..
I have to relearn what it is to feel … normal.
And surf the wave of my brain attempting to balance what it can provide for me unassisted day by day until a solid baseline is established and I can say…
Today was just a normal day.
And maybe it was the gloomy conditions this morning, the conditions that I normally love that … made me feel a little perturbed when I returned to the coffee shop I normally frequented after a two month hiatus.
Maybe my brain poured a little too much on yesterday..
Leaving me no capacity to enjoy a normal day.
…
Ideas to keep in mind for day 42 and day 90.