Out to Pasture
It’s June 13th.
Saturday.
Tomorrow is the new moon in Gemini.
I pulled Death.
In the four or so lunar cycles that I’ve been doing this, the only times I have pulled death have been the day before or the day of the New Moon.
In fact, the first card I pulled when I started this was Death (along with the chariot).
Last time, I pulled death was a new moon in Taurus on a Saturday.
Today, a very slim waning crescent in Taurus on a Saturday.
I dunno. Maybe this all means nothing...
Why does death keep coming up in Taurus.
The first death pull made sense.
The second one I thought made sense.
But I don’t think I got the message.
I rode the bike today, probably at the hottest point of the day.
I made a solid attempt to… take it easy.
I find that with… recent insights, recent shifts in perspective… riding the bike easy is much more enjoyable.
I feel like I only ever tried to hammer it all the time, to walk away from it feeling as if I’d spun away bits and pieces of my mind, body, and soul.
You can ride fast that way.
But if you’re gonna ride like lightning…
Taking it easy though?
Legitimately trying to spin circles rather than just do what feels like… power.
Surrendering to the mechanics of the bicycle rather than imposing your will upon it and the terrain you’re traversing…
It felt good.
All I could think about was how great it felt to be riding my bike, how elated I was to have found something to …
master.
Running seemed to be me at war with myself.
“I’m gon put on adidas shorts and chase satan out of… “
An interpolation…
Riding the bike never felt that way…
Maybe it felt more like… an escape, the manner in which I was treating it before.
Alone with the depths of my mind, floating along with no impact but still… in a way running from something…
Constantly going all out.
It’s funny actually.
Last night, I was looking through my camera roll to see if there was anything that seemed fitting for a logo for what has been established here.
If I open my camera roll, at some point I end up asking myself “what happened on this day x many years ago…”
I scroll to June 12th, 2023.
First crash I ever had on my Aethos.
The crash that warranted my purchase of some carbon fiber wheels and a new helmet.
The last incident in my life to leave me with a proper scar.
And just as I start swiping through the images of my bent wheels, my bloodied bib, the lacerations, the giant stone I just so happened to fly over rather than into…
My phone dies.
I laughed.. put my phone up on the charger and went to bed.
Earlier that day I had gone for a ride on the yellow fixed gear…
Last time I rode it… caught in the rain with a debeaded tire.
The time before that… popped a tire outside of a barbershop in the middle of an alleycat
“fuck!”
“man… I thought somebody was shooting, I was bout to grab my piece.”
Yesterday, just when I was about to get in my groove, the chain dropped as I came over the pedestrian bridge…
“Ha. Time to go home.”
I quickly put the chain back on… and slowly made way home…
Texted Wade…
“Your bike yearns for you. It asks of me a blood sacrifice if I wish to continue riding it. I wish not to pay the price.”
---
I’ve said before the bike gods will punish you for your ignorance.
Your…
hubris.
I’ve learned.
I took it easy today, surrendered myself to the machine.
And in doing so, I found a path to mastery.